Drinking from the source

014 Today I’ve been going through my file cabinet full of papers that record 5 years of research and writing leading to my doctoral dissertation One Can Only See Clearly With the Heart: A Map of Living Openheartedly. I tell people my grave stone will say “here lies a late bloomer, wait for me I’m coming.”  While sorting paper I listened to Clarissa Pinkola Estes talk about The Late Bloomer – the “one often called the dummling, or feathers in her head…” www.soundstrue.com.

Pinkola Estes said that when we finish a task that was difficult we need a time to draw from fresh water; “not water from a plastic bottle but water from the source.” A friend tells people who ask about me, that she’s “going off on a pilgrimage to reconnect with her tribe.” Yes, I am going to drink with the people who fill my reservoir with fresh water; the people who nourish me with laughter, good food and wine, warm beds, morning coffee and their truths. The people who know I’m a late bloomer and like the boy in the Emperor With No Clothes know that sometimes I pretend that I’m fully dressed.

Years ago a friend introduced by another friend who called her in the middle of the night after a party at my house to announce, “I’ve found them, I’ve found them,” and I were shopping. I was trying on hats. My friend said about the black one with the pink peony I’d plopped on my head, “Looks like a funeral.”  I heard her say “Silly old Fool.” After our laughter died down I bought the hat. In the middle of the cold Michigan winter when we met to say our goodbyes before I moved to Saipan, I wore it into a book store and passed it onto her. She wore it out of the store into the snow – silly old fool.

I test on the introvert to extrovert scale heavy on the introvert side. I like living here on 10 acres with my dog and chickens and limited human interaction. I have to take 10 deep breaths to interact with more than one person at a time and sometimes even one is a challenge.

When I’m asked “are you sure you want to take the bus, there are so many people…unspoken “not like us,” I hear the song “what if God was one of us, just a slob on the bus… just tryin’ to make his way home…

Relationship, an overused word that is maybe losing meaning, is inherent to our human experience – we are all connected. But relationship is sometimes difficult – you know what I mean. As we learned from the Velveteen Rabbit, involvement with others rubs off some of our fuzzy new fur. My friends and family and the people on the bus keep me real.

God be in my head and in my understanding, god be in my eyes and my looking, god be in my mouth and my speaking, god be in my tongue and in my tasting, god be in my lips and in my greeting, god be in my reaching/receiving, god be in my feet and my grounding, and god be in my joints and in my bending… God be in my heart …

About Marian Methner, B.S., D.Min.

Polydox: accepting that we are many labels, I am mother of 4, mother in law (love) of 4 and grandmother of 5. My life is a collection of bits and starts. I was recently on the road for over a year exploring ideas of living in shared housing. A recent summer course in Permaculture design, solidifed my interest in "social permaculture" or ways we interact not only with our Earthly environment but also with each other. I am back Bellingham, Washington, in a small rental house, owned by my ex husband, talk about shared housing, practicing living in community with family, and friends. My doctoral dissertation A Map to Living Open Heartedly, centers around making art as a way to healing. Paradoxiclly, a recent diagnoses of heart failure (cardiomyopathy) expands this exploration...
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4 Responses to Drinking from the source

  1. Mary Soper says:

    Yes indeed. This is that ‘silly oldfool’ friend who now gets to be thinking about Marian on the road and wonder (again) where she is and what she is doing now that she is about to go adventuring. How much learning and fun will that be?

    The hat she mentions sits draped on the crook of my rocker always at the ready to move out into the world as a fashion statement as well as a reminder of all the times that Marian and I were on the road, together or sepeerately however always together in spirit. Lord knows where she will be this time. I need to get her a map and compass so she knows where she is, and therefore is never lost.

    I am so excited about this year and hope to join her for parts of the adventure. She will know me as I will be the one wearing the black hat with a pink flower wearing a backpack – see my book The Hospital Handbook..

    Love to all,

  2. see you soon.. and the hospital handbook is really good!! love. M

  3. Lindy Barnes says:

    Hello, Marian. You don’t know me but I was introduced to your blog through a mutual friend, Penny Krebiehl. I am on the LA board so perhaps we will meet this summer while you are in TC. I am very much enjoying your blog. You wrote, “I test on the introvert to extrovert scale heavy on the introvert side. I like living here on 10 acres with my dog and chickens and limited human interaction. I have to take 10 deep breaths to interact with more than one person at a time and sometimes even one is a challenge. This could just as easily be me with one exception, I do not as yet have any chickens but they are in my plans. The black hat with the pink flower sounds delightful. 😀

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