Grace

Where permaculture stands out from the crowd as a design system is in its capacity to integrate the intellect with ethics. It can teach us to ‘think’ with the heart and respond with the head.

Knowing Grace

Instead of attending to this blog I’ve been working on an album depicting my year of “pilgrimage.”  I want reminders of my experiences moving across the country, living with others who shared their homes. And I want to recap for myself what I’ve learned.

I have few financial reserves and most days I can acknowledge that reality
with some trepidation. At one time, overwhelmed with fears, I thought falling
apart would lead to total dissolution and then I fell right into the arms of a
group of loving women, and my family and friends who’ve helped glue me back
together in a configuration not completely formed. There are some cracks but as I’ve read, they let in the light…

Much of what I try to practice are the pleasantries we learned in kindergarden that get us through the day – ” Say thank you and please, pick up after yourself, participate in chores and don’t interrupt. However as adults I/we forget these simple admonishments; rough edges show.

Since I was a child I’ve know Grace. I also know when I lose that feeling I become fearful and judgmental. Carolyn Myss, who has some rough edges herself, writes in her book Invisible Acts of Power “…everything comes from love, even when it doesn’t feel that way.” I relate to Carolyn Myss’s writing, ”Even those who do those things to us which bring suffering are performing a great service, for we are being given information through that experience about where we need to bring the light” (p.169). Myss then asks “Is grace real?” And answers, “Grace is not logical or rational… grace highlights qualities in you, enhances your strengths, and heightens your inner senses” (p.111). I hope so.

Vijali, an earth artist asks “what is your essence? What is holding you back? And What can you do to achieve who you are? I created a group of collages to answer her questions.

The first is my essence is often a fish out of water – I am from the ocean, it surges through my body but I stand firmly on bedrock. The ancestor’s bones and spirits are the underpinning and sometimes obstacles as well as the bridge to the present and the future.

When reeled in by the Big Hook in the Sky I can be a leader, though often leading just by a nose. I’m an introvert. I watch; my authority comes from the fact that I glean the Great Unknown even in my dreams, for all that I am. I am learning to love.

However my obstacles are a fear of being judged – humiliated, caught in penury, illness, and unable to care for myself.

 In my collage Judgment sits with his bony hand reaching out to grab all my thoughts and actions. Going into the cave is a place for self reflection and self knowledge, a place to rejuvenate. The cave can also be a place to escape the inner terrorist who sews together my truths. A cave is a germinal place of brooding. Friends and family wait at the entrance.

And, finally; overcoming obstacles requires faith in my feminine self, my trickster power, my art, my body and my skills. My glued together brokenness provides my strength just as often a broken jar that has been glued back together is stronger. I have a spiritual framework. By trusting my inner wisdom and coming to grips with my images, birthing them, accepting responsibility for them, and accepting the consequences I know grace.

I dreamed I had gone to a well for water and that 2 men were on the other side of a fence but did not see me. I was invisible. My image, not at all ghostly, still appears in the mirror. I am often surprised that she who appears isn’t 40ish, but I do recognize the wrinkled face and see the sunshine, wind, sadness and laughter that created her.

My work is now that of a 69 year old woman. I try to remember that “the conscious crone is the product of maturing femininity, the wise older woman who has traveled far and gained a wide perspective on life. Woodman calls her ‘detached, she is no longer invested in the power games…’ She is our matter whose wisdom grounds us and keeps us in touch with the slow rhythms of nature. (Zweg,1990, p.108)

I try to remember Pema Chödrön’s words, “you must unzip the armor.”

Stories Don’t Have Endings – Letting Go, Letting Go, Letting Go

When Ptolemy drew his atlas that was for a millennium and a half the standard source on geography of the world he “recognized the possibility and probability of Terra Incognita beyond the limits of his arbitrary boundary lines. He left the matter open to further investigation.” (Rebecca Solnit)

Stay tuned…

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/articles/what-permaculture-part-1-ethics

Remembering Laughter

I love this picture that recently appeared on Facebook. It could be and my sister last night while we waited for election returns. But when I first saw it last week I was reminded that when tsunamis hit Saipan we’d pull the storm shutters and hunker down with friends. Of course we’d tell stories.

One of the stories I tell happened maybe 30 years ago. I, my Silly Old Fool, and another friend were at a week-end Ilana Rubenfeld workshop in the Chicago area. It was a serious training event in techniques identifying and releasing those places in our bodies where emotions stick, causing us pain and sometimes lasting disability.

Each day before we left the work Ilana turned on the music and we danced our hearts out. I jitterbugged a lot with a young skinny man who taught at Second City. He encouraged me to let myself go so he could toss me over his hip in the middle of a twirl. I’d seen people do this but I’d never danced with someone who trusted himself, or me, enough to try the move.  Oh, we had fun!

One night 6 of us went out to dinner at a small restaurant. We talked loud and laughed a lot. One thing led to another and next thing we were all hunched under the table laughing even harder. An older couple was leaving the restaurant when the wife stopped and said to us something like “I wish I could join you.”  Her husband, in a gloomy and not too subtle way told her he was leaving! She turned to us and gave a rather sad, fluttery goodbye and left with him.

While I was working on my Psychology degree one of my favorite classes was the Bible as Literature. I could have listened to Dr. Vass read all day – in fact I fantasized about his reading to me and me alone. I remember him reading “and G-d laughed” after Abraham and Sarah laughed at learning Sarah was pregnant.

The book of Proverbs offers us a privileged look inside the mystery of God in the work of creation, which is always happening, even now. “Then I was beside him, like a master worker; and I was daily his delight, rejoicing before him always” (Prov. 8:30). The word for “rejoicing” in this text is the Hebrew word sachaq, which means “to laugh” or “to play.” So, here we catch a stunning glimpse of God at play in creation. Quite literally, we were created in playful laughter. http://geographyofgrace.com/ws/street-psalms-press/spiritual-formation.php

I was thinking this blog might be inappropriate due to the suffering of many throughout the country  – how can we laugh with all that is happening? Anne Lamotte recently wrote in her crazy, funny, serious way, “it’s okay to be sad, scared, mad about non-Sandy things.” And I add it’s okay to laugh in the midst of all this discomfort. My Silly Old Fool and I last laughed together a few weeks ago about events that took place that night as she sat with a friend who died with her at his side.

This is not a joke; we are all being taken into God’s laughter. Yes, there are immense hurts and horrible injustices and yes, God’s laughter is comingled with tears, but not all of the world is an open wound. We are more than our wounds. There is something deeper at the center of it all. All of the wisest mothers and fathers of the faith called that “something” Joy, into which all of creation is being taken now. (Adapted from the book, Geography of Grace: Doing Theology From Below.)

I am bound to friends near and far remembering the gift of laughter during very tough times. Today amidst the east coast destruction and tough political times I wish each of us the gift of laughter.

 

catching up with myself

Deer freely graze on Raft Island in Gig Harbor, Washington

Systemically, Social Permaculture is intended to aid Humanity and the Societies within it in meeting the evolutionary challenges of today.

Relationally, it is a re-imagining of culture, community, society, and on each of these levels, how we, as human beings relate. It is an investigation of how we want to relate and how this can be informed by the relationships found in natural ecologies, it is an investigation of the essential ingredients behind relationships which honor our ancestors, that which is true in this moment, and the generations to come.

For most of my growing up time in a small home filled with 7 people I shared a bedroom with my grandmother. I don’t remember when my mother thought I might need some space without Grandma and moved me in with my little sister. At 17 I moved right from tight family quarters into marriage and motherhood.

Earlier this month I shared space for 3 weeks with dear long-time friends in Washington. They’d asked me if I wanted to be paid to organize the imminant move of everything including collections of vintage pottery and furniture, from their sister’s house that was sold in difficult circumstances. Each morning I drove to the house on a private island to play beat the clock – inventorying, and sifting, sorting and moving hundreds and thousands of dollars of belongings onto sell, gift, donate, store, and consign lists. I was also interacting with neighbors and others who were concerned and at the same time arranging to buy some of the treasures at bargain prices.

At sunset I’d gaze up at the mountains to stop my body and my head. When I returned to my friends’ home we did our heart’s work. They are dealing with their sister’s on-again-off-again illness while facing dissolution of some hopes and dreams for their family. We are each dealing with our judgments about the sister’s wants and decisions, at the same time expressing our own desires for some of the treasures we’re packing, selling and preparing to store for an unknown future.

This past week I’ve been helping finalize that physical move as best I can from my brother and sister-in-loves’ large home in a quiet subdivision near Indianapolis. While they tour Italy I’m here to be with our father who lives in a nearby independent living center. He says I’m here to “baby sit” him. No way does he need a baby sitter but he does need the daily attention family provides. As his 96th birthday approaches I’m aware of how limited my time is with him. Dad and I are both introverts and he tires easily so I’m “home”alone much of the day.

Being by myself with no “work” forces me to not drift into diversion or distraction.  I tell myself forget the consignment shops I saw up the road – I have enough clothes. A hundred times a day I remind myself that the political noise on TV and Halloween candy are poison!

It is my turn to send art cards to my grandchildren. This gives me the perfect opportunity to practice paper cutting. I can also write to them about yesterday when I thought I heard water running. I looked in the laundry room and all the bathrooms – nope. Finally I stepped out the open back sliding door and saw maybe a thousand sparrows sunning in the trees. Their twittering and their wings rustling the dry leaves sounded just like water running!

Later today I’ll visit Dad for awhile. I remember that in Saipan after our morning walk up and down the mountain my friend Trish and I would stop for a moment and ask each other what our intention was for the day. This practice wasn’t a time for sharing goals to accomplish at work but for sharing focus on our internal lives.

Today again my intention is that when I’m with Dad I will be with him in the truest sense.  We’ll talk, we’ll laugh, and we’ll remember.

Yes, every day this month has been and is the unfoldment of grace.

Individually it (permaculture) is an alchemy of the inner world which brings awareness to the multiplicity that we are, which honors the archetypal flows of energy and information which stream through us, and which cultivates an internal system which is fluid and graceful, which allows space for the unfoldment of grace, for the release of stagnancy, and for the balancing of our inner ecosystems.

Also individually, it is a recognition of the complexity of the human form, it is a process of honoring the physical vehicles we use to navigate this land, and which are used by the land to stand up for social justice, for that which we imagine is possible, for the reweaving of the very fabric of our community. 

http://communities.ic.org/articles/1502/Social_Permaculture

http://www.toolsforchange.org/resources/org-handouts/principles%20of%20social%20permaculture.pdf

True North

If a seed has to grow with a rock on top of it, or in deep shade, or without enough water, it won’t unfold into a healthy full-sized plant. It will try–hard–because the drive to become what you were meant to be is incredibly powerful. But at best it will become a sort of ghost of what it could be: pale, undersized, drooping… In the age of ecology, we ourselves are the only creature we would ever expect to flourish in an environment that does not give us what we need! We wouldn’t order a spider to spin an exquisite web in empty space, or a seed to sprout on a bare desk top. And yet that is exactly what we have been demanding of ourselves.” (Barbara Sher, Wishcraft, 1979).

This summer I’ve written a number of times that my interests in permaculture are first, our surrounding social and cultural environment – our healthy human interactions with each other. Raye Hodgson, whose writing about permaculture is beautifully informative http://www.goveganic.net/article68.html) wrote, “At the core is the realization that our relationships with our environment directly affect our relationships with each other.”  I would add that our relationships with each other also directly affect our relationships with the environment. Penny Krebiehl* likes to say pointing at herself, “we are 00” the starting point of all permaculture design which uses zone 0, our human living space, as the beginning point of design.

In Cultivating Peace, James O’Dea writes “We identify everything in the world around us in the light of our experiences and cognitive categories and in accord with our worldview, the superstructure of meanings that we hold to. New paradigms have a tough time breaking through… we can become imprisoned by what we think we see and know.” 

In nature cooperation is the rule…

So maybe you can see how I see shared housing

My 10 weeks of a most wonderful “summer camp” living with Penny and learning and practicing permaculture ethics and values ended last Saturday with one last watering of the Big Garden and chatting with fellow gardeners. On Sunday evening Penny hosted a backyard fireside chat and sing-along goodbye fete and fest. Zack played guitar and sang, Gary set off fireworks and Levi, a parkour player, “did a trick for me” summersaulting over the fire – twice! Yikes!

The week before I was preparing to leave I stayed with a group of women friends with whom I house shared a few times during the summer. We had a rambling conversation about sharing.

The most important value was addressed first – When we are really sharing space we are in relationship – sharing with generosity, responsiveness, and elasticity vs. sharing on our own turf when it is convenient. To do this honestly we need a sense of humor and a sense of perspective and courtesy, often putting ourselves in the place of the other person. Our intuition wires need to be working along with our responsibility to create a space for open communication.

Marlene who permanently rents a room in Virginia’s house told us there also needs to be a values exchange.

She continued, “I’ve learned from Virginia. I never composted or recycled until I moved in with her. But I have also influenced her. I care for her. I want her to stay on her path… Recently after she was disappointed about the outcome of something she was deeply involved in, I told her “you are not getting the nourishing food you need – you are getting the $*%.”

We also need to recognize a Favor Bank:  We not only put in deposits but must be willing to take out (favors).

This discussion reminds me of the idea of hospice which comes from the Latin hospic, which means both host and guest. Whether we are sharing our home or living in another’s home we must be both host and guest. **  Hmm, reminds me of gardening or even living on the planet Earth.

“There is no use trying,” Alice laughed, ” one can’t believe impossible things.” I daresay you haven’t had much practice”, said the (White) Queen. “When I was your age I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” –Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland.

I’m currently in Marquette with my Silly Old Fool. Stay tuned…

“All endings are also beginnings.
We just don’t know it at the time.”

*Penny Krebiehl, Traverse City, MI., Littleartshram.org

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/book-reviews/people-permaculture-%E2%80%93-caring-designing-ourselves-each-other-and-planet

http://resistancetraining.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/the-ecopsychology-connection-with-permaculture-2/

http://www.goveganic.net/article68.html

**see the story below Delivered by Rabbi Daniel S. Brenner at Union Theological Seminary, Noon Chapel, October 20th, 2005 about the Jewish festival of sukkot corresponding with harvest festivals throughout the world. http://rabbidanielbrenner.blogspot.com/2005/10/ushpizin.html

There can be no encounter with ancestors unless there is a genuine attitude in this life that welcomes in those who are our neighbors – even those who annoy us. The merit of the ancestors only comes when we enact the principle of hospitality and openness in our lives here and now.

Let this sukkah be a symbol for our hearts this season, open to the sky, and open to the stranger who might walk through the door. May we rush to provide an empty seat for the ushpizin.

laughter is always good medicine

Lake Superior Shoreline at Agwa Provincial Park,

In early August Virginia and I visited friends Gailia and Doug at their camp on Goulais Bay on Lake Superior in Canada. We weren’t far from where my daughter-in-law Fiona grew up in Sault Ste. Marie – the Soo.

The house has 2 bedrooms. Virginia choose to sleep the first night outside and the next two on the floor. I scored the extra bed.

Doug left the first morning. We gals spent most of our time outdoors soaking in sunshine like seals on the rocks, sometimes slipping into the water to cool off. Lake Superior has the reputation of being the coldest of the Great lakes but it is warmer than usual this year. We received a few spots of swimmers itch to prove it.

I love how 3 women can cook up a meal on a single burner, manage with an outhouse, and bathe only in the lake.

Because there is no internet service and minimal cell phone service we chatted and read, solved the world problems and played Chicken Feet with Dominoes. On the drive home Virginia and I worked on our Edible Forest Garden permaculture project.

This past weekend we were privileged to work with permaculture teacher and author Peter Bane and his sidekick plants expert Keith Johnson. The 2.5 days with Peter and Keith brought to an end our Urban Permaculture Design course organized and taught by Penny Krebiehl of the rose colored glasses here in Traverse City.

 

I’ve written before about how I see shared housing and community living being a part of permaculture values and ethics. We laughed when Peter made a list of qualities we look for in plants: vigorous, widely adaptive and friendly, tractable and pest free. I was thinking good house mate qualities. And then, those of us who are “single” started to laugh – good qualities in a partner!

Yep, permaculture is more than a garden.

http://www.newsociety.com/Books/P/The-Permaculture-Handbook

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/15/for-healthy-aging-a-late-act-in-the-footlights/?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120816

http://gaiacreationsecoland.blogspot.com/2011/11/beyond-companion-planting-guild.html

http://womensenews.org/story/retirement/120328/report-60-older-women-cant-afford-basics

the images that feed us

“Marion Woodman, Canadian mythopoetic author and analyst, wrote that ‘the images upon which we feed govern our lives.’ We’re fed images all day long that fuel our cravings and our anxieties.”

Changing from a world based on buying and selling (I first read that as bullying- hmm same thing?) to a world fueled by creative pursuits that bring joy as well as justice and harmony means attentiveness to changing our consciousness. “Imagine a world where we were privy to the art being created by people who understand their role as culture-makers. Imagine visiting the worlds and minds and studios of people who are actively creating with an intention of justice and harmony.” *

Last Friday I was the voice of the Giant Sturgeon, in a puppet play for the Traverse City Film Festival created by my housemate, directress, as she likes to call herself, Penny Krebiehl, musician Rocco Jans and the 4 youngsters ranging in age from 6 to 14, attending the 2 – week OK Puppet Theater and the Pretty Good Players Camp. The play, In the Night Kitchen and Way Beyond, honored Maurice Sendak and included his inspirers Herman Melville, Emily Dickenson and Mickey Mouse. The theme of the 16 minute play was that with attention, communication, creativity and joy we can move through perilous times.

I’ve known Penny for 20 years. She is a fine artist, creative cartoonist and evolutionary permaculture teacher and urban farmer. Visiting her studio I asked her the following questions from the Cultural Creatives web site.  A combination of my words and hers, follow. Hers in blue, my comments in purple…

Do you consider yourself an evolutionary creative?  There is an evolutionary loop – we are in that loop – she made the infinity, figure 8 sign with her finger.

Do you have a sense that your work can fuel the social imagination of your town or community?   I’m not thinking about that when I create.

Do you know what you’re drawing attention to and why?  Are you inspiring people?” Kids are so bored. It’s not right to accept boredom. Good silly business needs to happen. I suggested that she was inspiring the children she worked with and reminded her of some of the characters in the play. She thought of one child in particular who is dealing with many difficult changes in her 9 years. We talked about a line from the play this child repeated in the voice of Emily Dickenson.

“Wait, do you remember that beautiful music that brought me out of my interior solitude…” Then Penny said; My goal is to make room for the creative process…  people are fearful of being creative… we are dumbed down to ignore our fear… we, the children and I, talked about how confusing it is when we are scared – we move right to anger… instead of saying I’m scared.  There is where serious stuff happens. I wondered if anyone in the audience “got the ideas in the play.” Penny laughed and said, “It’s art.” We both laughed and repeated, “It’s just art.”

Penny www.littleartshram.org

In a conversation with Tim Dechristopher, titled What Love Looks Like, Terry Tempest Williams quoted Breyten Breytenbach; “You Americans have mastered the art of living with the unacceptable.” Terry says, my next question to him was, “So what do we do?” And he said, “Support people on the margins. Because it’s from the margins that the center is moved.” http://www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/articles/article/6598/

http://www.stellenboschwriters.com/breyten.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_Sendak

http://culturalcreatives.org/

http://www.teaandcookiesblog.com/2012/08/chocolate-chip-cookies-community.html

On the path of reinvention

A TIP FROM LOL: Don’t be an ostrich with your head in the sand. Transitions are always a challenge. *

Thanks to a conversation with my side-kick Donna I’m spending time updating my list of values, wants, wishes, and must haves to help me sort through my options for winter housing. So instead of writing this blog I’m providing an updated list of Interesting news about shared housing and a few other tidbits that I think relate:

http://sharehousing.org/

http://www.midatlanticcohousing.org/?p=841

http://womensrights.org/blog/?cat=64

http://www.nationofchange.org/think-small-new-housing-model-1343226793

http://www.vhcb.org/SharedHousingArticle.html

http://www.newcommunityvision.coop/housing-co-ops/

http://extension.missouri.edu/p/GG13

http://blog.bikeleague.org/blog/2012/06/small-decrease-in-driving-huge-decrease-in-congestion/

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/11/opinion/our-gardenbrain-economy.html?_r=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120711

http://blog.ted.com/2012/06/28/trusting-in-strangers-rachel-botsman-at-tedglobal2012/